宠物

记得小时养了一只野猫(当时还无知,认为给它吃东西就是我的宠物了),每天放学回来都会在院子里唤它、找它,“麦可!麦可!”

最近我的小组来了一个新实习医生-法丁。她才毕业不久,所以是人闻人惧的“1st poster” (哈,其实叶子也曾经是first poster。First poster之所以被人嫌弃,因为他们才刚刚加入工作,实在是菜鸟中的菜鸟,大部分是菜鸟到不行的)。由于法丁什么都不会,所以就需要跟随比较有经验的实习医生学习(实习医生中的实习生),就是我们几个菜鸟中的老鸟。

之前提到那糟糕头顶的实习医生,现在给她改名为Kopi-O。
Kopi-O实在没人喜欢,所以看到新到的法丁,很想和她做朋友。
无奈狗改不了吃屎,很快法丁就发现Kopi-O不是值得学习和一起混的对象。为了躲避Kopi-O,法丁早上一直躲在我负责的病房,还不时对我诉苦说Kopi-O常常会发信息打电话给她,问她在哪里。

我笑着不以为意。毕竟Kopi-O怎么样都还是法丁的学姐。
一天,我在教法丁如何拿动脉的血,就听到她电话铃声不断。不久之后就听到Kopi-O的声音从走廊传来:“法丁!法丁!你在哪里?”
拿了动脉的血,我和法丁在诊疗室又听到Kopi-O在病房走廊徘徊:“法丁!法丁!”
我生气了,在Kopi-O经过诊疗室门外的那一刻,我大声地说:“ She is not your pet LAH!”

傍晚,法丁很开心地说:“今天Kopi-O没有再无端端找我了耶。”
嘿嘿嘿嘿……

难得的际遇

一天,我在电梯里听见医生A对医生B抱怨说:“ 这里的病人要求多,时常为了回应家属的要求和问题,而得延迟去见其他的病人。也很少人会感激你为他们做的事。我之前工作的医院,只要你为病人付出一点点,他们就十分感激了,医生也能放心为病人决定最恰当的医疗。”

工作上,如果没有人赏识,没有人感激,不管做什么样的工作,久了,都不好受。

前天值夜班,一护士说:“ 医生,某某病床的病人需要放针吊点滴。”
病人是一个很老的女士,说话都含糊不清了。我一边为她解释为什么我需要放置静脉管,一边查看病人的静脉。
她问:“你在哪里工作啊?”
“这里女士,XX医院。”
“ 薪水多少啊?”
(哇,问到薪水了,不是要帮我相亲吧?)“ 三千左右。好啦,要放针啦 !”

一切进行得非常顺利。
她说:“ 你很内行呐!”
“ 谢谢,不过这次运气好一点,之前的病人被我扎了四针。”
“噢,看你放针就觉得你内行。”
“谢谢谢谢。”
“我需要付你多少钱?”

哈!她真是个奇人,这么单纯善良!
我连忙笑这说:“不用付费!不用付费!”

离开她的病房之后,那晚我心情很好。
因为她的感激,让我接下来做工特别起劲。



久旱的园子,下了一场久违的雨。

Bad working partner

Many complaint about intern life. I guess for me, the worst scenario is if one gets to work with bad partner.

Before I joined orthopedics, I had beautiful expectations about the posting. As they said "One never leave orthopedic posting without gaining weight". So here I am, joining the team which there are already 3 interns. I was being pre-warned from the gossip, regarding how badly one of my working partners, B can be.

Nightmare doesn't hit me until the time our team became active.
Not mentioning she came late to work and only review 2 patients before the morning round (Oh, what did I just said?), she was basically living in the delusion that she doesn't need to work.

One day she came late, and I was sitting in front of computer updating patient list for our team, I heard her with sobby voice, " I don't feel well la today." (Hell, yesterday she was still so much energetic) Before our morning round finished, she already went somewhere lying down and became uncontactable for the entire day. When we reported to team leader regarding her taking emergency leave, she defended herself saying " That's not fair, I did came in the morning!" (for less than an hour, and she considered that working 1 day. Oh, what did she just said? I am just going to say that very same sentence "IT'S NOT FAIR!")
B flee from the team during the time when we were most busy, taking emergency leaves without notifying the team. When our team started quit down and patients number became less, she reappear again without any guilt.

The most disgusted characteristic of her is that she put patients' life in danger of being an irresponsible doctor. She did not serve iv medications to patients (which in the policy of the hospital I am currently working at, giving iv bolus medication is the responsibility of intern), be it antibiotics for diabetic foot ulcer patients or be it the very live saving medication of diuretics (frusemide) for acute pulmonary edema (APO) patient. During her care for the unstable patient (with APO + acute on chronic kidney injury + congestive cardiac failure + diabetic foot ulcer), for 2 consecutive days she did not serve the iv frusemide, that patient deteriorated badly, requiring multiple resuscitation and referral to medical team and crash team.

B likes to sit at the counter pretending that she has completed all her tasks (or is she thinking her team mates will pick up her shit job and wipe up her ass). When we questioned her regarding the result of tasks our superior ordered, to our surprise expectation, she did not even bother to complete them!

I became so irritated by her at one point, I went and confronted her :" We haves more than 30 patients and are you really think that you're going to take care of ONLY 2 patients?" Then she replies: " Okay okay, I will go book the operation theater and speak to anesthetist later". The result of her 'work' was, she actually claimed that patient refused operation (patient is deaf and mute), so that she did not have to go speak to the anesthetist and present the case (of wound debridement for an OPEN FRACTURE). That poor fella was kept in the ward, asking us using his own sign language when are we going to clean and suture up his wound. In the end, we found out that he did not refuse operation at that very first point!

She dares to put words into patient's mouth and kept telling lies to the team.

B lies to anesthetist for one of the case she posted for emergency operation. Patient has poor left ventricular function and just recovered from APO and fluid overload. Anesthetist was in great shock when he saw the patient himself in the preparation room of operation theater with so many co-morbids that she did not mentioned a ward to him. He made a big fuss on this issue and complaint to one of the medical officer oncall, unfortunately she got away from that once again.

Sometimes I wonder why, these kind of interns can always escape from blames and punishments. They appeared hard-working in front of the bosses and only very few superiors can see clearly.
They don't care about lives they are handling, they don't care about the responsibility being accounted on them. We worked so hard, we just cannot bear to see patients' care is not properly delivered, and in the end, we take up the tasks these fucked up interns didn't do.

Nowadays, Malaysia has too tooo toooo toooooo tooooo many interns, no one will try to keep them in the system if they don't want to work. And I say, these kind of irresponsible interns, better go, get out from the system before they became medical officer or murderer.

Journey turning inward

Is the down part of life again.
Just like a fix point on a turning circle, my life has its ups and downs swinging in cycle.

Past few months, I've not been kind and friendly to others, I fussed about problems and things should have been done, I found fault in others, blaming and criticizing as though I'm a perfect human being. I became impatient, throwing my tantrum during work and hurt those around me. 

But one thing always hold true, is that whenever I am angry about someone or something, it hurts myself even more. These overwhelming negative emotions, they never do any good to me, whenever I hated someone or felt disgusted by some action of others, I didn't like myself either. 

And then I started to withdrawn, from friends that I used to go out with, withdrawn from contacting old friends that I love to spend time with, withdrawn from replying emails and messages.

When the disappointment I created became too heavy a burden to carry, I know I've to find my way out.

No matter how far I strayed from the teachings of Buddha, I'll get back to it again eventually. It is like coming back home, that finally the mind has its place to rest. Let down the anger, let go my disappointment, and find a way back to kindness again. It is a journey inward, into own mind, with acceptance and passion, to discover the problem beneath its surface. A journey that I'll occasionally walk down to, and find my way through the down part of life to be able to get up again.

And so, the journey begins.

奇怪的翻译

有些时候当上司太好,就会无法拒绝他们(这么好的人,这么难得少见的品种,怎么舍得伤他们的心?)。因为这样,我接下了这翻译问卷的工作。

自己也从来不曾用中文学习医学,所以很多医学词汇还是等在网上搜索一番,但还是问题一大堆如下:
Urogynaecology - 泌尿妇科 (还不赖)
Urinary frequency - 频尿 (不过不失)
Nocturia - 夜尿 (有点怪)
Enuresis - 遗尿 (呃……只听过梦遗,没听过遗尿)
Urgency - 急尿?(开始不像话了)
Weak stream - 弱流?? (无语)
Is your urinary stream/flow weak/prolonged/slow - 您的小便流量是否弱、沉长(好像开会那样)、慢吞吞?
Strain to empty bladder - 用力挤尿
Defaecation straining - 用力开炮
Faecak urgency - 粪便的急迫性
Flatus incontinence - 屁失禁 (下次不小心放屁,可以用这个来当理由,原来是病症来的~)
When you get wind/flatus, can you control it or does wind leak? - 当感觉来风/屁时,是否无法控制而发生漏风现象?


后续:
还好上司和上司的上司们都不会看华文。不然上了年纪的他们,不知道过后是否需要人工心肺复苏。