Just like a fix point on a turning circle, my life has its ups and downs swinging in cycle.
Past few months, I've not been kind and friendly to others, I fussed about problems and things should have been done, I found fault in others, blaming and criticizing as though I'm a perfect human being. I became impatient, throwing my tantrum during work and hurt those around me.
But one thing always hold true, is that whenever I am angry about someone or something, it hurts myself even more. These overwhelming negative emotions, they never do any good to me, whenever I hated someone or felt disgusted by some action of others, I didn't like myself either.
And then I started to withdrawn, from friends that I used to go out with, withdrawn from contacting old friends that I love to spend time with, withdrawn from replying emails and messages.
When the disappointment I created became too heavy a burden to carry, I know I've to find my way out.
No matter how far I strayed from the teachings of Buddha, I'll get back to it again eventually. It is like coming back home, that finally the mind has its place to rest. Let down the anger, let go my disappointment, and find a way back to kindness again. It is a journey inward, into own mind, with acceptance and passion, to discover the problem beneath its surface. A journey that I'll occasionally walk down to, and find my way through the down part of life to be able to get up again.
And so, the journey begins.
