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对不起

在火车上,我脑海里还回荡着你的那一句:“我也是有娘生的!
不是你的错。我只是一个凡夫,还没有看清真相的能力。
对不起,我知道是我不好。

我明明就不认识你,突然你就给我一张卡,打开来后说我中了大奖……
我不相信这样毫不费力的获得,是真的。
然后附近你的朋友又给了几个路人大奖。



我只身在外,才刚下巴士,人生地不熟的,可是你却说一定要今天和你回去公司领奖。明天和朋友去可以吗?不可以,因为你必须和我一起去,这样你才会拿到三千多块的佣金。
最低奖金是七千令吉,可是为了我生命的安危,那七千块,算得了什么。

你急得把证件都交到我手上,证明你没有骗我,要我和你一起搭德士回公司。
广告上的电话你说不能打,因为今天星期六。可是你的公司为什么还开门啊?
当着我的面你打电话给你老板,然后让他和我谈。我什么都还没说,你也没说,他就已经知道我抽中的卡是什么颜色。我能不怀疑吗?

对不起,当我老实回答你为什么我始终不愿意去领取奖金,你生气地说:“你以为我是骗人的?我也是有娘生的!”你撕碎了我的“幸运卡”,说:“如果是这样,即使拿到佣金,我也不会开心的!” 

对不起,我无法相信你,不是你的错,也不是冲着你而来的。今天换成是别人来告诉相同的事,我一样也是不去。你可能一片真心诚意,那真的是你的工作,被别人误会了,也一定非常难受。不是故意要伤害你,只是我没有想要那笔钱,而且一个女生这样跟陌生人走,太危险了。

发现,社会问题怎样造就了我们对陌生人的不信任和冷漠。

I could be nothing

在别人的部落格游历时听到的一首歌……适合在安静的晚上,一个人时听。
给我带来很多回忆的思潮。

I could be nothing - Great Lake Swimmer

It goes on forever along the shoreline
It never will end on the shores of my mind
I travel along til the sleep takes me in
Where have I ended, where do I begin?


Sand blankets are littered with stones whipped across
Dead things in the water, forgotten or lost
The branches have surfaced and now they are lean
The trees have washed up here
Stripped bare, and washed clean


The waves kiss and gently caress on the shore
Kissing and winking, and calling for more
The waves like wagging tongues do adore
And whisper there softly to the sand on the shore




You would be nothing without me
I could be nothing
Said the waves to the sand
I could be nothing without you



Each ones shifts and weakens a little
Neither aware just how much they are brittle
Each one shifts and weakens a bit
Allowing the other to live and exist

O water and patience, pressure and time
Cuts through the faces of rocks we have climbed
The army of kisses, the lake never tires
The kisses that can put out all of my fires


You could be nothing without me
I could be nothing
Said the waves to the sand
I could be nothing without you
Without you, I would be nothing
Without me, you could be nothing
Said the waves to the sand
I could be nothing without you

失败的沟通




再忙都好,不要让自己粗心大意的。

Medicine

Original text is from Notes to the Class - First Day by Katharine Treadway, M.D

" When I was a third-year medical student doing my pediatric rotation, I was walking down the hospital corridor with my intern one night, making rounds on the reccent admissions. He stopped at the door of a patient who I knew was not on our service, but he said, ' I need to see this patient and her family. I know them because she hs been here several times this year.'

When we walked into the room, I saw a seven-year-old girl lying on a bed. She was brething the loud, liquid breaths I would come to know as the death rattle. Her skin wasbrilliant yellow, her abdomen massively swollen from the Wilm's tumor that was killing her. She had no hair-- the effects of her many bouts of chemotherapy-- and her limbs were stick-thin.

With her were her parents and both sets of grandparents. When we walked in her mother stood up. My intern walked over to her and put his arms around her, and they stood, silently, holding each other. After a few minutes, the mother stepped back and, looking at her daughther, at the unbearable scene before her, said, ' You know, I never thought I would want her to die, but I want her to die. Somehow, when they said there was nothing more they could do, I pictured her in a field of flowers and she'd just be gone. I never thought it would be like this.'

My intern taught me a profoundly important lesson that night. Many docors would have walked by that door because everything had been done. the diagnosis had been made, the correct treatment given, the complication appropriately treated, and now the girl was dying and there was nothing more to do.

What my intern taught me that night was that there was one more thing to do-- to go into that room and offer whatever comfort his care and concern could bring, to bear witness to the pain of that family. In the end, it was as important as anything else that had been done for that child. In the long years ahead, if you asked the mother what she remembered of that time, I suspect that one memory would be of my intern holding her. The lesson he taught me was that in the practice of medicine, the person you are is as important as what you know.

This is one of the extraordinary things abour medicine, I say: it is an intensely interllectual endeavor, demanding that you learn and understand an enormous body of information and that you constantly update that information as new knowledge becomes available, but it is also an endeavor of your heart. At the same time that you are learning abour disease and diagnosis and treatment, you are learning about illness, the patient, and yourself."